Fu/g/ue
A word looks so wrong sometimes
So different though you’ve known it all your life
I look at you sometimes
And I feel the same
I forget our language, the sound of your name…
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Our love has a shape; I see-
But I
Lose touch with r/e/al/it/y
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Symbols and letters of some kind-
As you know, I can be a coward
A prisoner to my mind
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You’re the same structure I’ve always known
A thousand times my mouth has called you home
Light bouncing on every shape
That makes you up
And says you’ve stayed
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But I don’t know if I know you/(me) right now
My tongue trips on the message
H/ow c/a/n I b/e s/ur/e
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Can’t hold a spark
‘Cause control is a daydream we have in the dark
Let it go and watch
It’s beautiful, from here.
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You always see so clearly
But I’m terrified to slip…
And so I
Grasp in the shadows-
To hold on
Even though I know-
-
I know…
I know…
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Brains got a 404 on your file
I’m searching for the schemas
That helped me before
A s/of/t h/az/e, as ephemeral as o/ur d/a/y/s
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Right now I can’t put a label on you
Sure I’m scared, it’s true
Changing so delicately
Honey it’s n/ot l/o/s/t on me
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I’m terrified when I lose control
Want to make it memorable
Keep it in my sight
Grab it before-
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All my might
Just to hold you
All my might
Not to stifle something true-
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I’m a/fr/aid
Of this place
-
Where I don’t know
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The light comes and goes
What misery is this?
What, bliss?
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Every definition, lost
To stare anew
Study like a child
The facets of the world
Still, and wild
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Big eyes taking a swim
This always did feel like drowning.
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From the depths the light is rippling
As I pry at the surface
I should just enjoy this
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And I’ve never so badly
I know-
Wanted to resist this fu/g/ue-
I-